Autobiography- Your Story Matters

EVERYBODY HAS A STORY- This book a was not just written to share my story…you may be reading this and thinking to yourself that your story is similar and you may know exactly what I am talking about throughout the book. This book is meant to inspire you as well. This book will hopefully allow you to ask yourself……why have I not shared my story yet? Sharing your story may not be in the form of a book, it may be in finally speaking up to somebody in your life that you have watched struggle but yet you have been afraid to council for fear of offending. You may finally come out with something to your family that you have been hiding. This may inspire you to begin your journey of releasing and relearning. You are important and your story does matter. Each person that reads this has their own circle of community around them that another person may never be able to reach. Take ownership of the lives around you that you have been placed around to influence. Don’t let your life pass without sharing your story. Here is the link to my book http://www.createspace.com/4271634

BEHIND THE SCENES: Homeless; Addictions and Admissions

I have been walking around the city of Detroit a lot lately. On almost every street corner I run into homeless people. Some are begging for money with their cups out, some are simply watching as the people pass them by. I have enjoyed taking the time to sit and talk with many of them. I never give them money, but I am always willing to get them food. It is amazing what you find out when you sit and ask them their stories. Each one is unique in the path that led them to the streets. So often homeless people get clumped into the group of “homeless people”, rather than being a homeless person. I enjoy finding out what it was that led each person to being homeless. I spent time on the streets being homeless too so I can relate. I wrote about my time on the streets in my autobiography. (www.createspace.com/4271634)  

I have learned many things from taking the time talking to the people living on the streets. On many different occasions when I asked them about the fact that they are asking for money, we have discussed the reality of the intentions. When people pass by and they see a homeless person holding a cup people tend to do 1 of 2 things. Either they will put money in the cup or they will blatantly ignore them and walk right past. I have found that both options are not good options. When  people choose to ignore them and walk past, it tells them that they are not a member of society and they do not even deserve the respect of being acknowledged as a person. This is heartbreaking and I have heard this from more than one person. The other option that people take is to give money away. I have heard from several people living on the streets that to give money is the worse thing you could do. They have acknowledged the fact that at the time of  begging for money they are desperate and willing to do anything to get the money. They have also acknowledged that their intentions are to go buy crack/heroin or other drugs or alcohol to fulfill their addictions. They have also said that once they have gotten sober they wish that the people passing by had never given them the money to continue the cycle. They have all said that they don’t think logically like that at the time, but looking back they see that the people innocently giving them money for “the bus, or food” were only allowing them to remain addicted to drugs. 

This was eye opening to hear this from homeless people themselves. It is natural to feel sorry for the people living on the streets and to just put money in the cup. That is the easiest thing we can do. When you really think about it, it may be easy but it is actually the most harmful thing you can do. If you really want to do a “good deed” and help somebody out who is struggling, the take the time to actually do so. This may mean to walk past them and go into the store to buy food for them and bring it right back to them. This may mean to give them the water bottle that you are currently holding. If you really wanted to help, you could buy a backpack and fill it with necessary items and give it to them as a gift. These things are all helpful to them. The biggest thing to realize is that they are people too. They just have a more difficult life than most. 

I learned from a man on the street named terry, something very thought provoking. When I sat next to him on the steps to an abandoned church we talked about the idea of addiction. This is what he said  “When a soldier goes to war and he gets injured in the field, if he knew he was going to die there eventually would you let him lie there in pain until he dies or would you inject him with medication to take the pain away of you had it? To us living on the streets we are going to die here eventually. We go days and sometimes weeks without food, and we don’t have medical care. eventually we will die in our suffering. Many of us inject heroin daily and take any drug or alcohol we can find. All we are doing is numbing the pain that we are in until we die. We are not harming anybody but ourselves. We are not showing up to work drunk and leaving our responsibilities for somebody else. This is our life and this is all it will ever be. We are just trying to make the best of our bad situation. In our situations we are in pain and to relieve our suffering we drink and do drugs to the point where reality doesn’t matter, that is our reality. So tell me again why what we do is wrong?”    

I didn’t quite have an answer for him. He had a point. It put into perspective for me why they are “cracked out” as we call it. I believe that sometimes they are selling themselves short and denying their full potential.  Does that make it right or wrong…..well that is not for me to judge….but it definitely gave me something to ponder….

Prison letters 2

I am at a point where I don’t know what to do. I have told my biological mother that I cannot support her being in prison and continuing to make the bad choices that get her there. She has hurt a lot of people in her life including me. I used to write her back-and-forth to try to motivate and encourage her. I have been doing that since I was 17. Before then I was too young to understand and I would communicate on the phone only. My life has gotten rougher in a lot of ways and I had to take a breather and take care of myself. I had sent her a letter telling her that I would not support her write her anymore because I had to take care of me. I really do struggle, because she continues to write me and begs me for communication. It’s a tough spot to be in, I guess because I’m not a mother I don’t understand. I am trying to be sympathetic and forgiveness is a choice, I have forgiven her but yet I don’t want to empower bad decisions. My first thought is to stick to my guns and to let her ride out the rest of her term alone. The other part of me continues to feel bad and thinks that I should write her. I need an outsider’s opinion because either way I’m not sure if it’s the right decision….. What would you do?

SNEAK PREVIEW INTRO: The intro to my autobiography

The thought was raised by a former English professor whom I highly respect; would it be pointless to write a book that may have already been written before, or is it selfish not to?  To share the wisdom and insight that you were chosen to live for in life, to write about the things that gave your life purpose – would it be selfish to write it, or would it be selfish to keep the story hidden? On the other hand, if you did not write that book would then it be considered selfish to your potential readers?

 

All my life I have been told that I need to write a book. I tossed the idea around for many years. As events built up in my life and climaxes plummeted, I wondered if I would be writing the book for a particular audience or if I would be writing it for myself.  It can now be verified that it is cathartic to get your thoughts and experience down on paper. So to say I wrote the book for myself is part of the motivation. I’ve often wondered, how could it be cleansing for a person to pick up my book, read my story and feel better about himself? After pondering the options, I decided that if only one person would be affected for the better by reading my book, than that would mean that at least two people were affected by it and therefore the book would be worth writing.

 

I find that writing a book does not mean to just recall life events and put them on paper. That would be considered journaling. I’ve learned that to write a book means to write intentionally. It’s debatable whether or not this can cause more harm than good on a personal level for the writer. I went through many sleepless nights tossing and turning after recalling feelings and events surrounding the events I have written about.  The pain of living the events is brought back to the light as the story is written down on paper. The part that hurts the most is the memory of the hurt sustained through it all and acknowledging the scars still present. The part that makes it tolerable is being able to smile and keep my chin up, knowing that I’m still here to write about it. There were many points along the way where ending my life seemed like a better option than going on in misery, let alone waiting around to tell people about my trials.

 

It’s hard to write a book like this one without feeling like you’re throwing people under the bus by exposing things they have done to you and put you through. Part of the cleansing and teaching aspect from writing a book comes from the fact that you have learned to settle and make peace with these people and the situations that surround them. It is hard to bring light to these events again, but in order for these lessons to be learned from by the reader, issues need to be resurfaced, admitted and faced. For many years I ignored all the problems that came my way. I would store things away and just live life as though those things had never happened. I learned to compartmentalize very well. I had to come to the realization that I will never learn from trials and mistakes if I deny their existence altogether. These events in my story happened, and they are real. You will be very disturbed by some of the things you are about to read. Some of the details are fairly graphic. Believe me, they were as difficult for me to write as they are for you to read. As a growing, learning young girl I was confused about the things happening to me. I look back and realize that I was chosen for this path I am writing about. At the same time, it is rewarding to see that the hurts I faced were all for a purpose. It was all a lesson, both for me and, as I write my book now at the age of 24, I understand that it was also for my potential readers.  Even if the hurt and challenges I faced only happened so that you could be reading this book right now, it was worth struggling through them.

 

We all have pain and sorrow and we all could tell a story, but how many people actually write their book? How many people were supposed to write a book but didn’t? How many stories have been covered up by other stories that don’t matter? Does any story really matter? I believe so. A person who writes a book needs to be prompted to do so, and it is usually for a specific reason. The fact that you are reading this tells me that you are either looking for answers, maybe answers from my story that you feel may go along with how you are feeling in your situation. You may be glad that this story was put out there to share a story similar to yours, and this may give you hope that your story will matter as well. This book may inspire you to write your own and I hope it does. Whatever the case, keep in mind that we all matter and in some way our stories all connect and our situations overlap. We need to open our eyes to let our minds figure things out so that our hearts can finally feel. Some people make a choice to think deeper. Some people don’t live life any other way. I hope this book raises awareness to people that life goes deeper and carries on to different levels behind closed doors that we don’t always want to see.

 

As I set out to write this book, I knew that there would be people to whom this book would impact. This is not a page to thank but rather acknowledge those that played a part in my story. There are people this book will offend; people may be shocked at its content. There are people who will be outraged at the things I have put in about my past. The people I have written about are the people who shaped my story and those are the people who have made me into the person I am today. Without them, this book would have no base. That may be a “Thank you” but it may also be an “I’m sorry.” In writing this book the intent is solely to change or impact the way people may view life and to think from a different perspective. As you see in the title, this book will hit on many points of abandonment and struggles in my past. These events were driven by the life I was born into and the influences of other people on my life’s course. But the key to understanding this book is to grasp that I was able to grab ahold of the pen and write my own ending.

My book is available online now at: 

http://www.createspace.com/4271634

 

 

TOP STORY: I have published my autobiography

For anybody who had trouble accessing the book website to order it, there were minor ‘tweaks’ being made after some great feedback from the readers. The book was unavailable for the last 48 hours but it is back up on the site and available again. I am happy to hear from those who have read it that the purpose is already being accomplished; changing lives.

Rachel Dawn

I have been working on this for many years and I have had a lot of set backs while writing this book but at the same time an equal amount of motivation to keep moving on with it. I have finally finished it and I self-published through create space. The book is available online.  I will include the link here if you would like to order a copy. This is a story of trials and perseverance though the unconventional events and heartbreak I faced in life . It is the story of how I was dealt a bad hand of cards yet was able to succeed through the rough times. If you know of anybody who is going through a hard time in life and is struggling to move forward or find success in hard circumstances please let them know about this book. This book is meant to encourage motivate…

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THREE STEPS: How to Become a Person of Influence

To be a person of influence you need to be a respected individual. In order for people to listen to what you have to say, you need to be credible. To gain credibility you need people to trust you. This comes in time. Through time comes dedication and integrity. Patience is key. Success does not happen over night, nor will people trust you after meeting you one time.

There is a 3 step method to becoming a person of influence:

Step 1- Hope (optimism)
In order for people to look up to you they have to see a glimpse of hope. Even the smallest glimpse of hope will give somebody a reason to believe. if you are optimistic you will go far. We live in a negative society so optimism is hard to come by, yet it is a necessary trait. This does not mean that there is not room for hurt or despair. There are always things that bring us down and cause hurt in our lives. We will face discouragement. That is a guarantee. That is “ok” and that is a normal part of life. The part to keep us hopeful is to realize that we cant live there. We can not stay in the place of hopelessness. We need to be resilient and move past the downfalls and think positive…optimism!
If you stand strong in the midst of dark times people around you will start to wonder what it is that you have in your life that keeps you standing strong. Do not live in panic and despair

Step 2- Humility
Real humility looks like respect. In the bible an example of humility was when Jesus washed His disciples feet. This was a picture of a leader showing servant style leadership. This is a great example of how to lead in humility. In order to leave you have to first serve. Everybody deserves respect-even your enemies. If you want to get somewhere in an argument or with somebody that is opposed to your thinking, you need to show respect. You will never win somebody over if you don’t first level with them. If you haven’t looked into or studied what you are arguing against then you are biased and it is not a fair argument. Be knowledgeable on anything that you are standing against in order to better represent what it is that you are standing for.
Your deepest goal should not be to harm or defeat your opposition but to serve them and love them to show them your heart. That is how you win a battle.

Step 3- Wisdom
Knowing when to pick your battles is key. There is a difference between what WE PREFER and what is right and wrong. Acknowledging the right to a different preference is key. people will always have different preferences. It does not man that the person is wrong, just different.
Wisdom comes with time and experience. There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom.

In life the darker things get…the brighter your light will stand out. Shine brightly. Know what you stand for. Be bold. Be wise. Be respectful. Be Patient. When people respect you then you will have the ability to influence them. Remember that respect is earned and it is necessary but it takes time.

Emergency On the airplane

Twice in the past year, I have been on an airplane where they have needed medical assistance. Before I was a nurse, I also traveled a lot and never once did I ever hear them page overhead for medical personnel. Both times this year that it happened they were both syncopal episodes. In each case the person passed out and hit their head on the wall and fell on the floor. This past time it was a young guy who had been drinking at the airport and then when we got up in the air he stood up to go to the bathroom and passed out. They paged overhead for medical staff. Hearing the interruption of the movie I was watching come through my headphones, I jumped out of my chair and went to the scene. There were two other medical staff heading there. We exchanged credentials quickly to determine who would respond as we were making the final steps toward the patient on the ground. One nurse said she was a labor and delivery nurse and the man said he was an infectious disease doctor. When I said that I was an ER nurse they pushed me forward and told me to take the reigns. The man on the ground had a pulse but he was pale and not responding. I lifted his legs up off the ground to restore blood flow and within seconds he opened his eyes and started talking. His pulse was in the 40’s so I figured he had a vasovagal episode. I kept his legs elevated to raise his BP and continued to get more info to find the cause. No nausea or vomiting. He was not a diabetic. No seizures, no past medical history for that matter. As I went through the questions with him his girlfriend stood by and said she felt so much better having a medical professional there who was remaining calm and “knows what she is doing”. The flight attendants stood around and offer help with whatever I needed. The guy began to talk more and I lowered his legs checked his pulse was blood pressure and it had come back up. He had no fever so it wasn’t a flu episode where he got dizzy and passed out and he wasn’t nauseous or anything like that. I gave him some orange juice just to rule out a blood sugar issue. His color began to come back and he felt better. He said that his only pain was his neck and his head from smashing it on the wall. Turns out the guy had been drinking at the airport and had not drank any water. He had not eaten anything either. He was very dehydrated. When you are dehydrated your blood pressure lowers easily. The infectious disease doctor stood by. He said I did a good job and asked me where I worked. Turns out we both work at The same hospital. Eventually we got the man back in his seat. Paramedics came to the gate as we landed the plane to get him off to check to make sure everything was okay. The flight attendants were very grateful and kept coming to my seat to thank me. They were very eager to bring me drinks! It was in that moment and the time previous which was pretty similar, that I really was finally proud of myself. I was proud of myself for getting a degree and for doing something I love. Working in emergency medicine I get a rush. The adrenaline that comes with helping people in a panic situation and remaining calm is very fulfilling. They say that not everyone can do that job but I’m glad that I’m somebody who can. I really do enjoy it and it really does give my life purpose. Experiences like that make me thankful that I went to nursing school and glad that I finished strong. Whatever you’re doing in life make sure that you love it because you will be fulfilled when you’re doing what you love.